True Tales From The World of Local Television

I figured I'd take a break from comics blogging, because there really isn't much happening right now that interests me, aside from going to SPX tomorrow.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I am the Programming Director for two affiliate stations in western PA. Part of that job requires listening to customer complaints on the programs we have on air.

A particularly favorite story: I had an older woman call me to complain about the low morals of television programming in the 21st century - the language, the sexual content, the violence irritated her equally. Evidently, my calm, matter-of-fact tone was more than she could take, because she eventually got so upset that she screamed, "Well, I just think it's bullshit. It's motherfucking bullshit. I hope the people behind these shows get cancer and die, the motherfucking evil bastards."

Another woman once called to inform me that my actions in moving one of the court shows we used to air after 11pm to an afternoon time period "ruined her life" because she can't decide whether to watch that show, or a soap opera on another station.

If that's all it takes, lady, I can mail you the pills and the vodka.

It's amazing, to me, how much time people devote to the television. I rarely even watch television for entertainment purposes anymore. There are a few shows that I keep track of, and I generally will try most of the fall programming out just to see what the landscape is like in the market. But people really care about this stuff. They obsess over it; the medium becomes the driving force in their lives.

In other words, they're just like half the people you find talking comics on the internet.

And they're just as pathetic as any HEAT member.