HYPE: HYPE!

Come to me, my hypemonkey militia.

I can't beat home the point how much the hype in the comics industry annoys me at times. A while back, I did a column on hype that tried to explain what, in my opinion, is the right way to hype, and what is the wrong way to hype (I hope listing that old column doesn't count as hype, because that'd make me a hypocrite, wouldn't it?).

But, here are some of my biggest pet peeves with hype:

* Searching for a "recommend a comic thread and pimping your own comic. I've been seeing this a lot recently, and it's irritating - especially when the person looking for advice says "I'm not interested in _________," and the response is, "well, my book is ___________, but it's so good that you'll like it anyway!"

If you're going to do that, offer the guy a money back guarantee or something. That never blows back in your face.

* Sending out others to do your dirty work. People who only post about one comic ever make me suspicious. Surely there are people out there who really only like one comic, but I think it's safe to guess that those fans aren't the ones one will find on a message board. It strikes me as shady.

* Piggy-back rides are for children. Please, stop swinging on the nuts of people who you think can get you "in." Testicles were made for biological reasons, not because tire swings went out of vogue and no longer inspire bucolic images of lazy Sunday afternoons. No one likes a sycophant.

Yes, sometimes all the hype works, so people continue to do it. And not all hype is bad. At least, come out and do that "HYPE:" preface to what you're spreading. Try to be professional about it - run a spell check, don't knock someone else's work in trying to get yourself over, and field all criticism without malice.

Those are a few of mine. What are your hype-ish pet peeves?