Not pinging the update-a-tron for this...

But if I did, it would likely read The Low Road: Hating Shane Bailey for dragging me kicking and screaming into this little chainblog thing.

1. Ten years ago: I was just heading into my junior year of high school, which meant I had driving and bad hair to look forward to (and after looking at some pictures of me from around that time, holy crap, I was even dorkier, if that's somehow possible). As it's August, I was working at a resort full-time. Like everything, there's a trade-off--I got to hook up with cute girls and guys I'd never see again, but I also had to call bingo games and say corny shit like "Chicken legs, B-11." Come to think of it, I'd trade most of the hooking up to get that memory erased.

2. Five years ago: I hit the realization that I was going to marry the girl I was dating. My little brother cursed me. We went to a wedding in Minnesota, and he said "don't do it! I guarantee if you go, you'll eventually marry her." And I ended up doing that. It was also the summer my brother and I realized that we couldn't live together full-time ever again, as we got into brutal, scary fistfights over stupid shit like grocery bills and the fact that completely unathleticly-minded me kept kicking his ass at some Playstation baseball game. Aside from that bit, though, a great summer semester at school.

3. One year ago: Last summer? Shit, the last four years have been a blur. Working, playing with the dogs, and getting ready to start this blog thing.

4. Yesterday: Got slightly mired in yet another pointless online argument.

5. Today: Put away the groceries, got crazy busy at work in a way that threw half of my work of the past two months out the window and made my finalized fall schedule line-up move back from the "done" pile into the "work in progress" pile again.

6. Tomorrow: Still working on that, but spending time with the wife during one of her two nights off work.

7. Five snacks I enjoy: Fresh mozzarella cheese, Sun Chips, fried noodles and duck sauce, cottage cheese, and Take Five bars.

8. Five bands I know the lyrics of most of their songs: Not bands in some cases, but Frank Sinatra, Ani Difranco, De La Soul, Buddy Holly and the Crickets and Public Enemy.

9. Five things I would do with $100,000,000: Look into getting my deaf dog some kind of corrective surgery so he could hear for his last years, buy a house, donate a ton to charity, buy crazy stupid crap for myself, and visit a bunch of people that live far away.

10. Five locations I'd like to run away to: San Francisco, New York City, London, Seattle, and somewhere in Alaska.

11. Five Bad Habits: Smoking, digging at ingrown hairs from shaving, picking my nose, thinking too highly of myself and, oddly, thinking too little of myself.

12. Five things I like doing: Reading, driving, talking to people, writing, and spending time in a warm huddle of puppies.

13. Five TV shows I like: ALLY MCBEAL, THE 4400, RESCUE ME, LOST and DEF POETRY.

14. Famous People I'd like to meet, living or dead. This list would be too long to do. Let's say Sinatra, Shakespeare, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Cole Porter and Gregory Corso. And that's just five dead guys, so that's leaving off the dead girls and the live girls and guys...

15. Biggest joys at the moment: That my little weiner-mix is sleeping at my feet and not tearing things to pieces or causing trouble.

16. Favorite toys: My satellite radio. God, I'm still in love with that thing. Also, my DVR.

17. Five people to tag: You guys don't have to do this, so consider it a tag of suggestion. I choose you, Graeme-a-choo. You could probably use the diversion. Also, Laura, who isn't a comics blogger, and who might not see this anyway. And Michael Pullman, because he loves these things. And John, because he'd probably do it anyway now that he's got all this free time and posts here more than I do. And David P. Welsh, because I like to watch him squirm, and boy will he be pissed when he gets back from his business trip and sees this.